How do you know when to jump?

…and will the parachute open?

These are the questions that are preoccupying a very large part my thoughts at the moment and being a bear of little brain, I'm not sure I have the space to spare!

What I mean is, I currently run Two for Tea on a part time basis (although my husband would probably disagree with me considering how much of my evenings and weekends is also spent on it!) My main sewing days are Monday to Wednesday when I frantically burn rubber on my sewing machine, trying to get custom orders out to (hopefully) happy customers all the while trying to keep two one-year-olds happy, clean(ish), fed and in one piece.

Thursdays and Fridays are spent sitting at a desk feeling frustrated, bored, downtrodden and claustrophobic while my beautiful babies are at nursery and my piles of fabric are sitting at home just waiting to be cut and transformed into something special and unique for a little girl or boy.

Considering that the amount left over from my salary each month after the nursery gobbles up the lion's share would make very meagre pickings for a mouse, I have been wondering more and more - is it really worth it? Is it really worth spending 40% of my working week miserable and the other 60% trying to cram 5 days' work into 3, just to be ever-so-slightly more comfortable? Granted, having a job offers more security, but I am really starting to think that that's just not enough for us any more.  The way my "real" job is making me feel is starting to creep into my home life too and that's just not fair on my loved ones.

So, after discussing the issue for the nth time with my wonderful husband today who said he'll support me and nearly made me cry, I think I'm gonna do it. I think I'm going to jump and just trust that my parachute is a beautiful rainbow of silk that will steer me to safety and not a dud that sends me plumetting back to earth with a bang!

I think…...